AZERBAIJAN:

Singer: Samara

Song: Miracle

Performing: First Semi-Final

Memorable Line: “We crash and we burn, you live and you learn.”

Chances: Will qualify for the final, top 15 finish.

Link: Azerbaijan 2016

Rating: Slightly better than the saintly minimum, she has 4 miracles (out of 10)!

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Another year, another song called “Miracle.”  When will you learn?  At least it’s not “Shine!”

This song reminds me of when I was a kid, and I thought it would be great if I could eat candy every meal of the day.  Any of you who know me are aware that I made that childhood dream a reality once I got older.  And anyone like me who has tried it knows it is as disasterous as it sounds!

The song, much like a Sweetart, gummybear, and snickerdoodle sandwich, is decidedly unsatisfying.  While it may taste amazing as you eat it, it leaves you with a toothache, a tummy-ache, and diabetes.  This is the kind of sappy, saccharine song that disgraces Eurovision each year.  And while Azerbaijan have had some notable numbers in the past, it seems each year they seem more and more likely to abandon the avant-garde and catch up with the decades of drivel that the rest of the participating countries have put out.

Yes, folks, it’s another silly love song, and it’s a severe disappointment!  While it’s gonna take a miracle for this song to win, Azerbaijan always qualifies for the final, so it would be foolish to bet against it.  And while I don’t hate the song, I see it for what it is and I don’t like what I see.

However, Azerbaijan always manages to surprise on stage, so maybe they will use some sort of enticing gimmick this year that could kick the song up a notch — let’s just hope they leave the mating wolves at home!

In short, the song itself is far from miraculous, but it will probably have some wide appeal, and I predict it will have a decent performance, after which it will be forgotten.

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